Rootlessness fuels silent epidemic of brain drain among Nepali youth

 There was a time when a child in Nepal could feel connected to their country through simple things — the smell of wet earth after the rain, the call of a koel in spring, or playing marbles in a dusty yard. That sense of belonging is fading fast. Nepal today is facing something deeper than just brain drain or labour migration. It’s an emotional shift — a longing to leave, even before physically doing so.

I call it Abroad Dream Syndrome (ADS) — or even the American Dream Syndrome or Australian Dream Syndrome.

What is ADS?

It’s not just about going abroad for studies or work. It’s a mindset that starts forming early in life — long before a plane ticket is booked. Many children growing up today feel emotionally disconnected from their roots. And this disconnection often comes from instability at home, lack of emotional security, or a childhood spent indoors and online.

What’s going wrong?

When children don’t play outside, climb trees, ride bikes, or swim in rivers, they lose that natural connection to their land. They grow up knowing Times Square better than Tundikhel — thanks to YouTube and Instagram. Festivals, traditions, and cultural rituals no longer feel personal. So when opportunities abroad arise, there's nothing holding them back.

The small joys of childhood — flying kites during Dashain, lighting candles on Tihar, or walking barefoot on wet grass — are disappearing. Without these memories, there’s nothing anchoring them emotionally to Nepal. So when asked, “Why stay?” — many have no answer.

Modern parenting and emotional distance

Today’s parenting often swings from overcompensation to emotional absence. Parents who didn’t have luxuries as kids now buy everything for their children — expensive gadgets, branded shoes, endless lessons — even before the child shows any interest.

The result? Children grow up expecting the world to give without earning. Worse, they struggle to connect effort with reward.

In many families, both parents work full-time. Children wake up to a house help, eat meals alone with the TV, and fall asleep next to a phone. There’s little affection, little conversation. This emotional gap grows quietly. So when these kids leave for Australia or the US, they don’t miss “home” — because what they had was just a house, not a home.

The role of social media

Social media has done what even colonizers couldn’t — it’s taken over young minds. A teen in Bhaktapur might know the coolest cafés in Sydney but not the history of Bhaktapur Durbar Square. They see the glamorous side of life abroad but not the challenges — the long hours, loneliness, cultural isolation, and even racism.

ADS thrives in this filtered world. Nepal looks boring. Abroad looks perfect.

Broken bonds at home

Many children pick up on emotional issues at home — distant parents, tense relationships, whispered phone calls. These quiet signals teach them early on that love is uncertain and relationships don’t last. So, they dream of starting fresh — in a new country, with a new identity, and new people.

So, what can we do?

Not every young person who wants to go abroad is running away. Ambition is not the enemy. The real question is: are they seeking growth, or are they trying to escape?

If our children don’t feel connected to Nepal, that’s not on them — that’s on us. We haven’t given them enough reason to stay.

I’ve seen it up close — teary farewells at airports, empty promises of “I’ll come back,” and parents smiling through heartbreak. It’s not that we didn’t give them things — maybe we just didn’t give them roots.

The solution is simple, but not easy

If we want to build a better Nepal, we must start at home. Let our children:

• Play in the dirt.

• Run barefoot on the grass.

• Take part in festivals, traditions, and rituals.

• See love, respect, and togetherness in their parents.

Let’s raise children with pride, not just privilege. Let them grow up with a strong sense of identity, a love for their country, and a reason to stay.

Because rootless children don’t become nation-builders.

And no visa in the world can replace a childhood full of belonging.